Growing up on GrUBB

Last week, I finally decided that I needed to grow up a bit and upgrade my old but beloved typewriter-era BlackBerry and settled on the new 8900 Curve Titanium. Quite simply, my old one was just not keeping up with what I needed in a career where technology is improving lives by leaps and bounds.

So I thought, let’s just do this! Intimidated, though, I mustered my courage by finding my most colorful scarf, throwing on as much jewelry as possible, and spraying myself with silvery glitter, which I found at the Display Shop here in Spokane where costumes and crafty items abound. (Why was I there, you ask? Shopping for tiaras, of course! I was preparing for Goddess Schawn’s birthday, and what Goddess birthday celebration is complete without tiaras?!?!)

Of course, I did seriously debate this purchase because I currently possess several technology needs, one of which is the CD/radio in my purple terp-mobile. In the past month, CD music listening has become quite the adventure in my car. I have had that CD player since I bought the car brand new a couple of years ago, and my folk and bluegrass music CDs I listen to now skip each time I hit a bump or pothole in the road. My boys and I have made it a game, though, for when I can see an upcoming opportunity…er…pothole, I warn them so we can holler out a vote, which song number we think the CD will skip to. Quite fun, casting votes in this way.

But the weekend prior to my growing-up decision, when I finished a solo drive to Sandpoint, just over an hour away, I noticed that the volume level was stuck at the rather loud volume I keep it at when it is just me in the car. OOPS! And, when my boys have been in my car, they haven’t necessarily been thrilled with this as I have been listening to Alison Krauss and Union Station. I can’t seem to convince them that there IS a difference between country music and bluegrass.

After listening to a dobra solo, my oldest said, “Mom, I STILL just don’t get that instrument.”

“Well, the banjo, then!” I offered. “Now THAT’S a happy instrument no matter how sad the song is!” I was thinking of Steve Martin, of course.

He resignedly responded with a heaving sigh, “I guess you can take the girl out of Kentucky, but you can’t take Kentucky out of the girl. Can we PLEASE just not listen to that corn-hoeing song? AGAIN?” (referring to “The Boy Who Wouldn’t Hoe Corn”).

“Hey! That’s a great idea! Let me find that one!” I happily responded, jabbing with both hands at my needing-to-be-replaced CD player.

Under his breath, he muttered, “He shoulda just done his chores THEN so then I wouldn’t hafta listen to it NOW.”

Ahem. ANYWAY. Properly glittered in Goddess-wear, I bounced into the T-Mobile store, and, upon the young man’s invitation, “Can I help you?” I said, “Why, yes! I am ready to grow up just a LITTLE bit and upgrade my old typewriter-era BlackBerry!”

“Can I see your ID?”

“Oh my! That is not an auspicious greeting,” I nervously said, hurriedly trying to brush the glitter from the counter.

He laughed. “No, when people upgrade, we always ask for ID to make sure they are who they are.”

“Well, there is no mistaking me! Here is my ID!” I said, showing him my license with a flourish that hid my huge sense of relief.

In the end, I got my GrUBB (GRown-Up-BlackBerry) replete with crayon-like instructions worthy of the Crayola 96-color-box on how to move from one BlackBerry to another.

But the lure of a new toy, especially one with lots of buttons, lights, and sounds, was just too tempting. So later that night, I found myself in quite the state of uncontrollable giggles when I was playing with my new GrUBB, and, having no idea what button, key, or function I hit, a female voice suddenly resounded from the device, announcing, “SAY A COMMAND!”

“PREVAIL!” I promptly commanded in response. Of course!

So somewhere, floating in my GrUBB like fairydust, is a command to PREVAIL. Where, I have no clue. I fear I am in over my head with my new technological gadget. I am truly afraid that at some point, the female voice will reemerge, commanding me to “STEP AWAY FROM THE GrUBB!”

Of course, I will have to follow her instructions. {Sigh.} At least until all the lights catch my attention again, and I start pressing buttons and keys, perhaps setting off all kinds of magical spells, sending the universe into chaos.

Now, I ask myself, should I upgrade the stereo system in my car? After all, I already DID upgrade my BlackBerry, glitter, crayons, and all. I AM growing up. Kind of. Sort of. In a way. Maybe?

Whew! I AM AT MY LIMIT! Too much technology and grown-up stuff! I will think about it TOMORROW! Off to the trampoline I go!

Whoo hoo! Goddess Schawn, let’s go prepare for Trampoline Jumping for 40-Year-Old Women, Instructional Video #2! Our audience awaits us!

LL, 7/1/2009. Prevail.