Sunday, December 19, 2010

Trampoline Jumping for 40-Year-Old Women, the Saga Continues, Spray Painting My Xmas Tree Purple


Life as a trampoline jumping Goddess continues to be quite busy! In addition to the numerous letters that Trampoline Jumping for 40-Year-Old Women, Instructional Videos #1 and #2, continue to elicit, to which I respond by hand, my Butternut-Squash-Lasagna-with-Rainbow-Striped-Noodles posting has caused a wonderful flurry of correspondence. Meanwhile, I have turned fabulously 41 (a good number, I think) and spray painted my Xmas tree purple. This, the spray painting of my tree, has been a most serious of seriousnesses in my Goddess efforts, I must say. I have come to realize that this is such an important endeavor, so much so, that I feel a strong need to suspend my many Goddess charitable activities, letter writing, trampoline ladder/dodge ball search, and BlackBerry viewfinder on Binoculars series to address the universal question that I am sure has been brewing…no, that’s not a strong enough of a word…certainly BOILING in all of your minds: Can I REALLY spray paint my Xmas tree purple?!?!

So here I am, typing in the wee hours of late morning, to say YES, you can spray paint your Xmas tree purple…or any other color…or combinations of colors you should choose! How was it that I was able to receive from the Universe this incredible wisdom, you ask? Well, my beloved community of 40-Year-Old-Trampoline-Jumping-Women, this all started when I began to contemplate the approaching Season of Winter Celebrations during my morning chilly runs. Honestly, I wasn’t sure how I wanted to ride the Wheel of Seasons as She rolls towards the Winter Solstice...when suddenly, it came to me! I NEED A PURPLE XMAS TREE!

Okay, I understand that many will implore you to explore things that you want versus what you need and say that what you think are NEEDS are really WANTS. Understood. Nonetheless, I am here to say that, yes, we should be deliberate, AND, as my interpreting mentor, in a serious Paula Deen-esque Texas accent recently dispensing to me some pearly advice, said that when a serious decision is before you and you have a sense about the direction you should take, “Honey, that’s yurr gut tawkin’ to ya an’ ya need ta listen to yurr gut…okay, sweetheart?” So employing that sage advice, when I saw that Danskos online had PURPLE PATENT LEATHER CLOGS, albeit a tad bit expensive, I knew in my Kentucky, southern gut that they were a definite NEED and definitely NOT a want…

Ahem…anyway…so upon hearing the Texas accent of my mentor imparting advice in my mind’s eye, I decided to once again honor my gut, thinking that if a purple Xmas tree was what I needed, a purple Xmas tree was what I should have. Sooooo…to Rite Aid Pharmacy store I went for my 20-dollar, six-foot tall fake Xmas tree, then to Target for my eight purple (and silver) Xmas tree balls and my eight purple glittery stars and two strings of purple lights, then moving on to Shopko for my glittery purple star tree top, and finally, off to Fred Meyers Home Improvement Center for two cans of purple spray paint (the kind for plastic and many other kinds of surfaces).

Spray Painting a Xmas Tree Purple

My Xmas Tree, Spray Painted Purple, Step One

First, I attach the six to nine-ish levels of branches to the metal-ish trunk of my 20-dollar fake tree from Rite Aid.

My Xmas Tree, Spray Painted Purple, Step Two

I then (after considerable time…I tend to NOT read the directions so putting things together takes a long time) take my newly assembled tree outside in the snow, and, wearing my running tights, purple running jacket, pigtails, running shoes, and purple apron (sewed and given to me by a Goddess), spray paint spray paint spray paint spray paint my 20-dollar fake tree from Rite Aid like crazy, easily using up my two cans of spray paint from Fred Meyers Home Improvement Center.

My Xmas Tree, Spray Painted Purple, Step Three

Once my 20-dollar, six-foot-tall fake tree from Rite Aid has been spray painted with my two cans from Fred Meyers’ Home Improvement Center and dried (15 to 20ish minutes), I then proceed to place my eight purple Xmas balls, using purple paper clips, on my purple spray painted tree, my eight glittery stars and two strings of purple lights from Target, along with my Shopko purple-glittery gorgeousity of a tree top star. I then place my purple fabric from a previous project around the base for the skirt.

My Xmas Tree, Spray Painted Purple, Step Four

I then step back, mentally referencing my original vision…and look at my purple tree…and realize it needs one more thing: my Halloween black crow, whom I’ve named Violet.

My Xmas Tree, Spray Painted Purple, Step Five

I place Violet, my Halloween crow, in my six-foot-tall fake tree that has been spray painted with my two cans of purple plastic-and-other-surfaces spray paint, decorated with my eight purple and silver balls, eight purple glitter stars, two strings of purple lights, and one purple glittery treetop star, and step back to observe.


And I am wickedly happy.

Purple Xmas Tree through BlackBerry Viewfinder not on Binoculars

A Close-Up of Violet, My Halloween Crow, on My Purple Xmas Tree through BlackBerry Viewfinder also not on Binoculars

BUT! Before you don your aprons and begin to spray paint, once again, I have a few remarks of my own wise wisdom to offer.

DO spray paint your fake tree in snow, preferably in your front yard, creating patches of colorful snow.

DON’T be alarmed by the stares of those who drive by as you, in pigtails and apron covered running clothes, madly spray paint your tree. I really must agree with myself when I say they are simply continuing to respond to your pulsating and mysterious aura of spy-like international intrigue that you have displayed at your summertime local farmers’ market. In fact, they are probably wishing that they, too, have listened to their own guts and spray painted their tree wonderful and brilliant colors.

DO be sure to NOT stand facing the wind as you spray paint.

DON’T forget to consider a back-up plan for disassemblage and storage after you have spray painted over the matching assembly color codes on the branches and tree trunk of your assembled fake tree.

DO be sure to NOT feel intimidated with YOUR small BlackBerry on your hand-held Fred Meyers binoculars as you stand shoulder to shoulder with other Coeur d’Alene-Lake-wintering-bald-eagles-watching birders with THEIR expensive and high powered tripod-held binoculars and cameras, REI boots, and jeans. Indeed, DO stand taller in your colorful Danskos, floor length dress, and drapes of scarves and necklaces…

And finally, DON’T forget to review the previous postings on trampoline jumping. Yes, I realize that it has been a year since the last video, but what with my lower lumbar/hamstring issues and video filming and production complexities, it might be a little bit before my next video is produced. Nonetheless, we can still practice our landings and stances!

Okay! So happy spray painting! And be well, do good work, and keep in touch as I return to my noble and worthy Goddess activities listed in my introduction…and please know I have not given up on that ladder and dodge balls for my Trampoline Jumping for 40-Year-Old-Women, Instructional Video #3. HEY! Perhaps when I find them, I should spray paint them purple, too!

GL, 12/19/2010. Prevail.

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